A new disease has been identified:
Acquired Canine Obsessive Syndrome (ACOS)
At first, ACOS was originally considered to be psychological in
nature, but after two young researchers suddenly decided to become show
breeders, scientists decided that ACOS was indeed of infectious lethal viral
Viralologists have identified three stages of this disease and the typical symptoms.
They are: You have the early symptoms (Stage I) if: a.. You think that any show within 150 miles is nearby.
b.. You begin t o enjoy getting up at 5 a.m. in the morning to
birth puppies and feed dogs.
c.. It is fun to spend several hours a day grooming dogs.
d.. You think you're being frugal if you spend less than $3,000 a
year on shows.
e.. You can't remember what it was like to have just one dog.
(Stage II)You definitely have acquired the disease if:
a.. Your most important factor when buying a car is how many
crates you can fit in it.
b.. When you look for a house, the first thing you think of is how
many dogs you can pen on the property.
c.. Your dog food bill is higher than your family's.
d.. You spend as much on veterinarians as on doctors.
e.. You have no money because of showing dogs.
f.. You have more pictures of the dogs than of your family.
g.. Your idea of a fun vacation is to hit a show circuit.
h.. Most of your conversations revolve around the dogs.
You are a terminal case (Stage III) if:
a.. You wake up in the morning and find out that you put the kids
in the pens and the dogs in the beds last night.
b.. You know each dog's name and pedigree, but can't figure out
who that stranger in the house is; it turns out to be your spouse.
c.. Your neighbors keep insisting that those kids running around
your house bothering the dogs are yours.
d.. You cash in the kid's college trust fund to campaign the dogs.
e.. You've been on the road showing dogs so long that you can't
remember where you live.
; f.. Your family tells you "It's either the dogs or us"; you choose
g.. You trade your wedding ring in for a ring that has the profile of your breed on it.